Where is my spy/assassin/detective-‘mentor’?

Ever since I had watched the movie Bourne Identity, I was convinced that I would be like Jason Bourne (minus the memory loss) when I grew up. And, I was almost sure that some spy/assassin/detective-‘mentor’ was on the lookout for a spy/assassin/detective-‘prodigy’, who, of course, would be…yours truly!
So, I used to train myself to develop the ‘physical and mental endurance’ that I would need when the…uh…’time’ would come.
While in school, during lunch hours, I used to ask a friend of mine (I don’t remember who that hapless friend was) to go hide in any of the blocks of my school and ‘watch me’ while I was standing on the playground. This activity was intended for me to develop that intuition to ‘sense when one is being watched’. (Well, all spies and assassins and detectives had that intuition!)
I used to practice my aim using a toy gun that used those plastic pellets; and climb walls, trees, stair handrails, etc…
I also practiced swatting flies…to develop patience, coordination and concentration. (Apparently, that never works, because neither did I develop patience nor could I actually swat a fly!)
In tenth, I had almost starved myself to death while doing hours of physical exercise daily, for a whole year, so that I could train my body to undergo hunger and fatigue. This was intended to be of use, in case I was ever required to “lie low” and escape from enemy hands by hiding in forests or mountains without food and water!
Well, call it fate, call it karma…my spy/assassin/detective-‘mentor’ has not contacted me yet…
All that my ‘intense training’ has ever given me was disappointment…
And…hair loss, too!


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